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Starting Over
by Dana Waddell
This was originally a birthday present to me from Rosalind Brinson. So,
this one's for you girlfriend! J
"Well, I'm going out," John pouted. "We're in San Francisco, and I can't
believe you're not doing anything."
"Go ahead. Have fun with Ellen," Roy said. "I'm fine by myself."
John shook his head as he walked out the door. "Just remember you're just
divorced now. Don't go crazy."
Roy shook his head as he pulled off his shoes. "Johnny, Johnny, Johnny,"
Roy muttered. "Always looking for a score." Sometimes Roy envied his friend.
He was forever dating hordes of women. The results weren't always successful,
but after picking up on John's body language, Roy figured when John got some
and when he didn't. Either way, John's mood swung like a pendulum depending
on the outcome.
For Roy, he hardly dated since the divorce and rarely before his marriage.
He and Joanne were high school sweethearts, meeting when they were nine years
old. He pulled her hair in the playground and she slugged him back. Love
at first sight. Growing up, Roy was always into books and played some
football. Joanne was a popular cheerleader. After high school, their courtship
turned into an engagement. "That was so long ago," he reminisced. They both
married at 23 and Chris arrived exactly nine months later to the date. Erin
came along a few years later.
How can a happy marriage break up like that? Roy always looked back
and wondered what he could have done to make things better. There were no
answers, and Joanne didn't have any either. She suddenly felt compelled to
move on. Roy gave her the house, and he was renting a studio not far away
from Station 51. "I should get a ranch house like Johnny has," Roy was
considering whether or not to stay in Carson. "Maybe I'll move to San Francisco,"
he kidded himself.
Roy DeSoto never thought he would become a fire rescue observer. Years of
fire fighting and paramedic duties elevated his career to a higher level.
The Los Angeles County Fire Department were sending Roy and his long-time
partner, John Gage, up and down the pacific coast. They were observing paramedic
programs from Seattle to San Diego. One of the stops included a brief stay
in San Francisco. "Nice town," the usually reserved man thought to himself.
He'd missed his two children, Erin and Chris. After the divorce, he saw them
sparingly. The weekend visits were never enough, and there were some Saturdays
and some Sundays he needed to report for duty.
Joanne was the one who insisted on separating. She was married to him for
nine years; always trusting, caring, devoted, and sometimes patient. But
the last few years, the patience wore thin. Joanne couldn't deal with the
stress of being a fireman's wife. She and Roy were arguing more frequently,
sometimes for the silliest things.
Roy remembered the day when he walked home from a grueling 24-hour shift.
The house he practically built from the ground up was incredibly quiet that
day. He hollered, "I'm home," as was his usual greeting. The familiar voices
of his wife and children were mute. They weren't home. Roy began looking
around and noticed missing items. A radio, jackets, toothbrushes, combs,
overnight bags, some toys, and even cash, had disappeared.
Dumbfounded, Roy strode into the kitchen and came across a piece of paper
taped to the refrigerator. He was hoping it was a grocery list but his gut
feeling said otherwise.
Roy,
The kids and I need to get
away for a while. We've been having too many problems
lately, and it's not
healthy-- for you, me or the children.
I'm staying with Diane for a few days.
Will call later.
Joanne
It was the beginning of the end. Diane was Joanne's sister in San Bernardino.
"Stupid me," his eyes misted. "Her car's gone, the one I paid for."
Roy never saw Joanne's car again. He didn't see her or the kids until a week
later. By then, Roy had received the divorce papers. The court appearances
that followed were taking its toll. Roy was becoming quick-tempered and
aggravated. He hated what he was feeling, and found himself even snapping
at his friend John.
"Johnny wondered if Jo's was getting fed up with me," Roy said to himself.
"I'd even told him to back off." John was right and very supportive of his
best friend, even in the worst of times.
Roy rubbed his weary eyes, trying diligently to finish reading his novel.
It had been a long day and fatigue was overtaking him. He was beginning to
nod in between paragraphs. "Damn it," he cursed. "I have 10 pages left. I've
to see how this ends." Ten minutes after John left, Roy heard the key in
the lock. He looked up from his book, then went back to it.
When the door didn't open, Roy cussed softly and headed to the door. "Junior!
You just left! You can't be that drunk already!" He stopped chiding when
he found a startled and very surprised woman standing on the other side.
Panic and sheer embarrassment swept over Tania Parker, the paramedic observer
from Fresno. She was in the same program as were Roy and John. "Ooops! Sorry
Roy, had the wrong room. No wonder the key didn't work." She grinned, praying
silently to herself.
Tania had very pretty features. She was tall, a bit proportioned, and seemed
timid at times. No doubt Tania was attractive, but was Roy becoming attracted
to her? Nah! Had it been THAT LONG since he was in the company
of another woman?
"Well, why don't you come in for a while?" He liked Tania, and they already
had conversations about life as a paramedic. Roy was very keen on her intellect.
At the seminar, Tania knew her stuff. She also didn't let that chauvinistic
physician underestimate her abilities. Roy liked her determination and
enthusiasm. She also had a thing for foreign films like he did.
Tania almost felt idiotic standing at Roy's door. She'd never seen him wearing
anything other than a sweater and dress slacks. Now she saw him in a
nearly-opened cotton shirt and loose-fitting corduroys. Wow, he's got
a nice bod, she assessed. "Uh, sure. But I can't stay long. I have a
flight in the morning."
"I know, you have to go back to Fresno." Roy confirmed his suspicions and
tried not to sound overly disappointed. But he was.
She stepped into the room and looked around. What am I doing here? He's
much too classy for me, she thought. He was one of the first people to
speak to her after that fateful class. "You really held your own there. Nice
job," he smiled at her in appreciation.
Damn, those blue eyes! "Thanks." She stepped cautiously ahead of Roy,
peering at every crack and crevice in the room. "Where's your partner?" She
asked.
"He's on a date, I think" Roy chuckled and Tania laughed along with him.
She liked John as a fine paramedic but realized the man had issues.
"Would you like a cup of coffee?" Roy offered, buttoning his shirt. Shit,
she must think I'm a sloppy pervert!
It was the most enjoyable cup of coffee they ever had. The conversation was
the most pleasant one Tania's had in ages. Especially with a man.
"Tania?" Roy touched her arm, snapping her out of her reverie.
The touch was quite harmless but it sent a bolt of electricity up and down
Tania's spine. "Sorry, I was just thinking of today. You were so nice to
me." Her attempts at sounding casual were beyond realism.
"I'm glad I met you too. Why are you going back so soon?" He took in her
lavender perfume and purple satin blouse.
She rolled her eyes agitatedly and replied, "I couldn't get coverage for
the full run of the convention. I have to go back to work." What was there
to lose? The guys she knew back in Fresno were bums and losers. Roy, on the
other hand, was truly special. There was something perhaps different about
him.
Roy thought his body would break out into spasms. Just nervous, his
shoulder began to twitch. He wasn't a cad, a playboy, a sex maniac-he was
human. "Maybe next year?" He touched her mocha-colored face.
"Aren't you married?" Tania shivered but didn't pull away. Oh GOD! I can't
believe I asked him THAT!
"Divorced. Not very long ago though." Running his hand across her neck and
shoulder, Roy leaned in and kissed her gently. His eyes shut tightly as he
was expecting either a shrill or a painful slap.
Tania didn't know what hit her. All coherent thought stopped at that point.
She returned the kiss, dueling with Roy's tongue, sliding her arms around
his waist. He trailed kisses down her neck, pausing only to open her blouse
and continued to caress her.
Wasn't this sudden? Red light! Stop sign! This was beginning to feel
good, and it was completely normal, consensual.
"Roy, are you ready for this?" Tania whispered. Roy stopped, looked into
her brown eyes, then pulled her into the bedroom.
To Tania, the cool sheets transformed into crashing waves at sea. The warmth
of the sun was Roy being with her. Ever so gentle, so passionate, their kissing
lingered and deepened. His mouth was on her neck, face, shoulders and arms.
Tania responded to every move made and didn't utter a sound when Roy removed
her clothes.
He laid next to her, evidently naked. The clock ticked with every passing
moment. Their fantasies and curiosities about sex reached a crescendo until
they climaxed. A whirlpool of emotions reverberated audibly throughout the
room.
"You're lucky I'm using a diaphragm," Tania teased afterwards.
Roy rolled over on his side and watched her getting dressed. "I noticed."
"Is that so?" She smiled back. Probably from experience as a married
man.
Tania zipped up her jeans and sat at the edge of the bed closest to Roy.
"Know something?" She quipped.
"What's that?" Roy stretched and studied her movements.
Tania sighed and began lacing her shoes. "I hope this doesn't ruin
our…friendship."
"We've a lot in common and get along great. Why would what happened change
things?" Roy implied, hoping their rendezvous wasn't a mistake.
Tania hinted Roy's concern and set him straight. "I've seen it happen to
other people, that's all." She leaned over and tenderly took his hand.
"But…"
Roy sat up, taking her in his arms, "We can start over."
"What?"
"I'm going on vacation next month. My kids'll be away, so I didn't plan anything
special."
Tania giggled. "Are you suggesting that I come and see you?"
"No."
She pouted, "Why?"
"Cause I'm going to visit you." He kissed her again.
It was nearly a quarter to five in the morning. Tania left, realizing John
would be coming back. She didn't want to humiliate Roy by staying much longer.
After a while, Roy couldn't sleep. Not bad for a 34 year old, he mused.
"And I still have 10 pages left to my book," he promised finishing as he
got dressed. He went to get his book, smiling tremendously with thoughts
of Tania etched in his memory. After the straightening the bed covers, he
occupied himself with reading and was trying to stay awake. He failed.
The key turned in the lock. Roy woke up, his book falling out of his lap.
"Hey Pally. You awake?"
"I am now," came the reply. Roy sat up in bed as Johnny flopped at the end
of it.
"Man! That Ellen is downright desperate. I'm glad I don't live here. What
did you do?"
"Nothin'."
"So why do you look so peaceful?" John teased.
"Cause I got some sleep, that's why," Roy slipped back under the covers,
his face red.
"For a minute there, I thought you had a girl up here," John continued while
smirking.
"Good night Johnny."
"Good night Roy." John headed to the shower. As he left the bedroom, he picked
up the faint smell of lavender and grinned to himself.